I’ve got a good deal on my plate beginning a new project which requires sorting through complex research and formulating ideas for a film project, my brain feels as if it will burst open. I imagine the burst spilling forth an explosion of ideas like a fireworks display, surely that would be a relief, watching them fizzle into nothingness.
But I find when I just sit quietly for a few moments with pen in hand, after reading and contemplating scripture about Deborah this morning, a prophet and judge in ancient Israel, my mind again started twisting into new shapes questioning the patriarchy of age-old Biblical times. I wondered within such a male dominated system, why Deborah led. I though about how she also was a lead armies in battle to victory, and how Jael, another woman made the final blow to the enemy, a triumph Deborah prophesized. I found it curious this was during a time before the human monarchy, when God was king. Certainly worth further study. But I also found myself growing weary of intellectualizing, my mind shifting to a quiet place where I finally relinquished the efforts of my reeling mind, resting my head, what felt like, on God’s lap.
I realized the great I AM lives beyond our intellect, our striving, the big ideas. We’ve been given gifts to think ,to create, to dream and we do amazing works, but it is God the great creator who guides all from the unseen.
We are called be faithful to this unseen God.
While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. -2 Corinthians 4:18
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9
We are in this world but not of it, citizens of this unseen world more so than in the homes we have planted here on earth. It is to God where we need to shift our gaze, always, regularly, for God is our true home, and God’s way is our path.
All my thinking and creating and fretting this week reading books, researching websites, typing notes, designing a website and calling cinematographers matters a little in the bigger picture of this unseen life. I think of the time I sat in the Planetarium in San Francisco, enjoying a journey into outer space, a thrilling experience sitting still, yet simultaneously lifted into the cosmos. The narrator facilitated our outer space adventure as we floated thousands of miles from earth, moving through the stratosphere, into space. Looking down at the earth, now just a spec, just a tiny dot in blackness, our insignificant planet was just one of the millions within universes. As we moved further into the unknown, I felt we entered the very pulse of God’s heart. For a moment the realization of God’s omnipotence, took my breath away, the magnificence of the cosmos, of the tiny-ness of myself, and yet realizing we’ve been given this precious gift of life, of being a child of God on planet earth down there somewhere, disappeared in the vastness. God, in miraculous glory:
sits above the circle of the earth,
and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers;
who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,
and spreads them out like a tent to dwell in. – Isaiah 40:22
Where could I go from your Spirit? Or where could I flee from your presence? If I ascend up into heaven, you are there. If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, you are there! If I take the wings of the dawn, and settle in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there your hand will lead me, and your right hand will hold me. -Psalm 139
In shifting my gaze to the unseen, in relinquishing the tangle of ideas about to burst from my brain, I found peace for today in God’s omnipotence, in the vast beauty of the mystery.
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